Thinking Of You.

It's starting to pull me under I can feel it beneath my feet, the last few months have passed so slowly and it's been so long since I've seen you smile, I'm to afraid to ask what's wrong so I sit and stare frustrated digging my nails in to my palms, I never wanted you to see me like that, bloodshot eyes and bleeding fists speechless love a new years wish, I never wanted you to see my reenact those days I threw away, stuttered screams from a distant voice I followed you all the way to your front door, no words could take the pain from your eyes like a knife throught the heart I'll be sleeping alone tonight, and when I wake up you won't see me again you won't have to worry about me anymore, I'm sorry for all the times I fucked up I'm sorry for every time I let you down, you always said it was hard to talk and I guess it always was, but it still feels the same I still feel the same the only difference is you're not there, I brought this on myself, you're not there, when I need you the most, you're not there, and I can't stop thinking of you

Heartless

For once my eyes are open to you, and everything you've said. For once your web of lifes is in the open. I gave you everything I had, until I had nothing left. And still you act as if I'm just a burden. I'm finally letting go. Stay silent at least for now, and let me move on. Because I'm done playing games with my heart. I've been around the world and back for you, and now its time to choose. I've been swallowed by this wreck called your life, I'm damaged from the inside, I've been broken. Don't threaten me with what you think I feel because if you could read my mind you'd be in tears. I'm sick of your excuses you hold above me. I've finally come to terms with what I am, I'm nothing in your eyes. I'm merely living a dream. And ill close my eyes and ill dream of a better time when ill finally leave the past and be happy on my own. I've done all I can and still I'm the one cast aside. All I ever wanted was to be the one to wipe the tears of your eyes, but I guess ill play second best to a world that never cared about you. You'll never understand you'll always just be another pretty face. You tell me that you care, and then you run straight back to him. I can hear your voice of treason from a mile away. You never did know how to whisper. You never did know how to the tell the truth....

Kiss That Motherfucker Goodnight

Say this is jealousy that I’m feeling well then I’m fine with that.You have a certain characteristic that gives you the means to not feel a fucking thing for anyone that isn’t you. Now tell me you’re not fucking selfish.For every kind hearted word that I spoke to you. I beg I could take back every syllable you ripped from my mouth as I screamed for you to understand. What it feels like to not be as important to someone as they are to you. Well I’ve been on both ends and my lesson was learned. So I tell the stories of collapsed lungs so maybe the fortunate could get a fighting chance to just cut and fucking run. Fuck saying the right things- I’m sick of being your crutch. I will never pick you up again. Don’t show me that face, you know the one that I’m talking about. You will never get under my skin again. Not another word. Not sorry for shit...
I’m leaving you breathless...broken...alive...alive...

Shades Of Grey.

This life is unpredictable, no limits or restrictions
it's filled with opportunities and filled with addictions
so much joy, yet so much affliction
pain and oppression, shame and conviction
so much we see yet, so much we're missing
so much to change and so much we're fixing
faith and forgiveness, chaos destruction
poverty, paychecks, starving children and corporate lunches
love, peace, war, hate and hunger
fall, winter, spring, summer, sunshine and thunder
I'm going under, now I'm rising
how much time is left? There's no rewinding
sometimes even the light can seem blinding
I wash my thoughts in blood to keep my mind clean
I don't have everything I want
I've always had everything I needed everything hasn't always went how I planned it
but I wouldn't change who I am even if you offered me a mansion
just existing is enough, just living
I'll do my best to make the right decisions
until the day heaven takes me away
I'm gonna make the most of life even with the Shades of Grey

Never

Im in love with the art form that still keeps my heart warm
Presented with the most virtuous intent but in hard form. As long as we breathe, hardcore is going to breathe with us As long as we real, folk cant help but feel us

(I WRITE SONGS TO RIGHT MY WRONGS)

We'll always have Paris.

Did you know that you've been keeping me alive? Through the darkest days and the longest nights. The world is wrong because this is right. And everyday is another reason why. Everything can fall apart. Everything can fade. Everything will fail. But this, it just gets stronger.

On the bird in the cage

My girl, my girl, tell me why you look so sad...
Has the sun finally set on us?
Have you come to long for another's hand?
There's a feeling inside me that somethings leaving.
Like someone stealing salt from sea.
Left me sinking and left me thinking
how to keep you caged with me

Because I need you like air to breathe
Just to hold you.
o' I hold you.
o' how I hold you.
I hold you down.

Down with my insecurities
down with my hypocrisy
down with my pathetic pleas
down instead of setting you free
to find your happiness with or without me.

So untie your feat, reattach your wings
so you don't have to open your throat to sing.

Because if it's you I love, then from you...

I'd walk away.

And your face:
on every leaf
of every branch
of every tree

The Taste Of The Floor

So alone
so we'll hold
those barren bodies
bereft of any soul
to get back what
the "middle of the nights" stole:
the forgetting feeling of feeling whole

But the loneliness
of our togetherness
creates an empty nest
for the emptiness
freezing in this chest

So can you make me feel good?
make me feel complete?
help me return to a dream of love
worth more than
dirt and meat

A Church In Her Heart.