We have more sense than lies.

And lately, well I've been feeling down. It's like there's no more room for a hopeful sound. I need to believe in something new. To believe in me like I believe in you. We've had our hands held much too tight. We've been more wrong than we've ever been right. Can't place our hopes on a hanging chad. We need much more than just one punk rock band. Clenched fists and blackened eyes. Break wide open our heads and fix our broken minds. We're crossing fingers and we hope for the best. We've lost our anger. We've been suppressed. And we can't just hold our breath. Sit back and sing along. Pretend that it's all okay when we know we're wrong. And this is not a call to arms. Just a hope that we might try. To use our heads and open eyes. We have more sense than lies. We have more sense than lies. And nothing changes if we don't change ourselves. Bombs burst my trust away. Red glares and empty stares. We need something to say. We need to start to care. And we can't just hold our breath. Sit back and sing along. Pretend that it's all okay. When we know we're wrong. We must change. Ourselves.



DANGERS TONIGHT AT THE SMELL

Coldfront

During the lowest points of our lives, we think how things would be differend if we tried, but right now i just need to see my friends. Honestly, Im dead without them. And again my heart has dropped to my feet. When i realize that Im not what peopled think i should be. And again i can hardly fucking breathe. I only got myself blame for this defeat. I cant compete with defeat. Tomorrow will be different. From now on ill take those risks', I say it over and over in my head with a heart full of hope and two clenched fists. This time ill try not to fuck it up. But who am i kidding? I've always lived this way. The air is getting colder and this town isn't helping. Its' such a fucking waste when another day another problem is faced. Right now, I've got a song in my head. Right now, I've got a pen in my hand. Right now, I'm going to let it all out. And they still wont understand. I dont give a fuck what anyone thinks. And im not sorry.

Watching Water.

I'm trying to break this writer's cramp, massage my hand and daydream. Rest my face inside my hands and fall back into my memories. Sometimes I wish i didn't reminisce so much. Such things, tend to make one reflect and dissect situations to an extreme. Hard now to redeem what was there before. Anyway, I'm now moving on to a distance far from yesterday. It's best this way.

A Cold Winter.

It was just brought to my attention that the new years eve show my band (grossed out) is going to play, with the almighty TOTAL FURY will in fact be a house show. This just adds to the excitement. I mean I can't describe in words how excited i'am to play with a band that i've been loving since I've been able to know what hardcore was. I mean my year couldn't end any better than this, though I would wish "she" would be there with me, I know thats going to be a lot to ask for, but a thought from her will keep me at bay. My life is finally falling into place. This smile is finally no longer a disguise to what I truly feel, I am in fact happier than I've ever been. No matter how much this world tries to break me down, I will stride and stride with my head held up high

TOTAL FURY 2003

Searching for a pillar of strength in a confusing world. Your eyes tell me all I need to know, you're reaching our for warmth in the cold. You could try to lose yourself in someone else, but even in a crowded room you'll always feel so alone. But there's beauty in these moments that we spent by ourselves even if it's hard to see sometimes, like a pretty face obscured behind a veil of tears. "I need" is such an ugly phrase when it falls from your lips in a stranger's voice like a whisper of defeat. I know it's hard to feel whole when you're broken inside so learn to wrap your arms around yourself, cradle your head, and dry your salt stained eyes. Because there's beauty in these moments that we spend by ourselves even if it's hard to see sometimes like a pretty face obscured behind a veil of tears. This is what I've learned: Don't search for solace in another's embrace. Everyone that we hold so dear gets lost in the static of the passing years. So , learn to be alone. Find comfort in the solitude. Harden your heart and build unbreakable will. It's the only way you'll ever survive this world.

This vacation is not as cracked up as i thought it would be. I feel like a bum. Waking up at late hours, Just to Read, write, and eat. I need some productivity in my life. Never imagined i would be saying this, but i miss work